We got to go home a week later. Uncle Jesse and Daisy waited on me and Luke hand and foot, almost, over the next few weeks. Cooter came by daily, giving progress reports on what was wrong and had been fixed on the General Lee. And we had several visits from a very guilty pair, Rosco Coltrane and Cletus Hogg. We had quite a time explaining to them that we didn't blame them for what had happened. Rosco blamed himself anyway, and swore to let me and Luke alone, unless we were honestly speeding, for at least three or four months. Us Dukes all looked at each other with doubts on that one, because Boss would order him to chase us, after all. But it was the thought that counted, I guess, and even Boss showed that somewhere under all that stomach, he really did have a heart. He actually paid our hospital bill!

As soon as we were able, we started helping out around the place, indoors at least. And gradually, we got back to our regular chores. In about two months, even the ribs had completely healed, and no one would ever have been able to tell we had been in an accident.

That crash hadn't dampened my love for driving any, though Luke got a bit worried at first. The day the General came home, the two of us took him out and roared over quite a course of jumps and cross-country shortcuts. We picked up Enos, out at speed trap number three, on purpose, and he chased us for several miles before giving up and waving a friendly hand out his window as he spun around to a halt. He hadn't really been trying to catch us, just playing with us.

We got a job for a couple of weeks too, exercising two very energetic horses. We galloped over hills and streams, having a real ball, until their owners came home. Harvest time came, and we were as busy as any other year, falling into bed exhausted every night for nearly a week. But it was worth it, and we had the county harvest celebration to look forward to, a extravaganza of food, music, laughter, and fun. Then came Thanksgiving... then Christmas. And things just got better.

All in all, we were just enjoying life, Luke and me. Especially now that we had both accepted just how deep the feelings that ran between us were. We laughed and joked and played like always, but there were also the quiet evenings sitting on the porch steps and watching the stars come out, the days spent roaming the countryside on foot or in the General, content merely to be together. There were the gentle hugs, the soft but sure touches of warm lips when no one was around to see, the evenings spent cuddled close in the hayloft against the chill and talking. It was good. It was very good.

What was between us, though, never went any farther than those kisses, a bit to my discontent. I was willing to go as far as we could, but Luke kept the reins on. We had a few arguments over it; he saw our close family relationship and the fact we were both male, I only saw that we were in love. But despite all that, we were happy. To the outside eye, little had changed. We still raced, still went on dates with girls together, still played tricks on Boss Hogg and he on us. But neither of us ever got too close emotionally to anyone else. Luke's heart belonged to me, and mine to him. At least I had that. It was simple, it was pure and sweet and beautiful.

He surprised me in one way, though. He always seemed to know when I was feeling upset about something, always had actually, but now even more so. He would touch me, hug me, and sometimes even said the words I loved so to hear -- "I love you." It always made me smile, and hug him back, everything suddenly okay with the world after all. Luke wasn't often one to say things like that, to anyone, though we all, his family, knew it without doubt. But for me, he'd say it. That was something special all in itself.

Over the next months I did my best with words and actions to let him know how much those words meant to me, trying to make sure he'd never change his mind. Sometimes he would want some personal space and time to himself. I always let him have it without question. I would do anything to keep him caring for me as deeply as he somehow did. Even if sometimes I wished... it could be more... That thought filled my dreams and daydreams, more so as the days went by, until finally, one late-spring day, it came to a head.

"Hey, Bo, wake up," came my cousin Daisy's lightly chiding voice. I jumped guiltily, as if she could read my thoughts, and looked at her.

"What?"

She flicked a towel at me. "How can I dry dishes if you won't wash them?"

"Oh." I fought a blush. "Right. Sorry."

Her dark blue eyes, so like my own, twinkled lightly as she tilted her head at me. "What were you thinking about?" she asked understandingly.

I shrugged. "Nothing important." I couldn't tell her how important it really was to me. Even though Luke and I knew she and Uncle Jesse loved both of us, and would do their best to accept it if they found out, we also knew that they wouldn't be comfortable with this. So for everyone's peace of mind and heart, we'd decided to keep our relationship, if you wanted to call it that, to ourselves. "Just daydreaming, I guess."

Daisy glanced around me out the window, to where I had been watching Luke doing chores outside, his strength evident in not only the ease with with he lifted a heavy bale of hay into the back of the farm pickup, but also the corded muscles shifting across his bare back and shoulders as he performed the task. I loved to do that, watch him move and do things, catching the little shades of expression on his face or in his body language that many other people never saw. It didn't help to get my mind off of things I wished could be, only made it worse, but I still loved doing it. "Oh, don't tell me you'd rather be doing chores than washing dishes," my almost-twin teased, grinning.

I had to look at her and smile back, wrinkling up my nose. "Naw, I'm happy to let Luke do them," I drawled out playfully. "What I'd really rather be doing is laying out in the sun somewhere just enjoying the day."

She laughed outright, like I meant for her to, and shoved my shoulder. "Lazy! Don't tell Luke that; he's gonna be lookin' for your help to do that work!"

I chuckled too. "I know; I was just teasing."

Her grin lightened into a half-fond, half-cheerful smile. "I know. Now, c'mon with those dishes, will ya? It's not like four plates left is a terrible chore."

"Right." I dunked my hands into the soapy water for another plate, trying to tear my thoughts away from what I'd really rather be doing. Oh, Luke, how can you not see it in my eyes when I look at you? I thought to myself. Well, maybe he did, just kept it to himself. He always avoided the subject. I knew the reasons, but it didn't stop me from wishing. Dreaming. Literally. Whenever I snapped into wakefulness from one of those dreams, I would glance over at his bed guiltily, glad that he didn't wake up and hear my ragged breathing as I tried to calm my racing heart. Because I knew he wouldn't be thrilled about it. He loved me, I knew that for a fact. But I also knew him, like I would never know anyone else, and I knew that it wasn't just an act. He really didn't want... that.

So, I kept my feelings to myself, getting up and going into the privacy of the bathroom if I had to in order to relieve my dream-born passion. I just kept watching him from a distance and fantasizing every day, grateful for each time I could sit close beside him, lightly touching and being touched, and look into his eyes.

It wasn't enough... but it was all I had. So I was gonna hang on to every shred of it.

I finished rinsing off the last plate and handed it to my cousin, smiling over at her to mask my thoughts. "Anything else you want me to do, or should I go out now?"

"Hmm." Daisy seemed to think about that very seriously, and I smiled as I realized that she was teasing me.

"I'm going, I'm going!" I laughed. "Anything you think up for me to do will be lightyears worse than regular chores!"

My cousin snapped a hand towel playfully at my head, and I barely ducked in time. "Oh, get on with you, you lazy... boy!"

I had to laugh again, dodging another swipe with the towel and heading for the kitchen door. I paused halfway through to look back at her as she called my name. "Yeah?"

"Here." Daisy handed me a small wicker basket, flat and just big enough for the sandwiches and cool drinks I saw inside when I lifted up the lid. "After you're done with your work, you boys go hiking or swimming or something. Stay out of my way while I clean up the house today." The admonition was delivered firmly, but a twinkle in her eyes let me know that she was also thinking of letting us have a good time.

I smiled at her and took a step backwards, out the door. "Thanks. Tell Uncle Jesse when he gets back that Luke and I delivered the hay. And tell him we checked the fences too."

"Okay," she nodded. "Have a good day."

"You too," I nodded in her general direction, then waved and grinned as I turned and bounded down the porch steps. Uncle Jesse had gone to town that morning with the jeep, Dixie, to go shopping. He was also gonna see our mechanic friend Cooter about checking out a rough sound in the engine that Luke and I couldn't quite figure out the cure for. Little Dixie was Daisy's pride and joy, so Uncle Jesse had offered to take the car to Cooter for a thorough checkup.

Luke turned as I came over, smiling as our eyes met. "You actually gonna do some honest work around here?" he teased, hopping down from his perch in the back of the pickup. I smiled back, a happy warmth in my heart making me feel good just to be near him.

After tucking the flat lunch basket in beside a bale of hay, I sauntered closer casually and quickly snapped my fist out to hit him in the upper arm, pulling my punch at the last moment so that I only tapped his shoulder. He gave me a half-dirty look, and I couldn't help but giggle a little. Finally he smiled again though, a wry but gently amused look in those crystal blue eyes, and I slung my arm around his shoulders, following his steps to the other side of the truck. "Sure thing. All loaded up?"

He looked at me again, shook his head with an unwordable expression, then ducked away from my half-embrace and jumped into the cab, scooting over to the passenger side. "You can drive."

I didn't comment on it; he was entitled to the moods he sometimes got into. Any Vietnam vet was, though Luke had almost no problems compared to most of the poor guys that came back. At least this was a good mood, if a slightly strange one. "Okay." I waited for him to get out of the way, then slid in behind the wheel. As he reached out to start the engine for me, our eyes met again. He paused, frowning.

"What's wrong?"

I looked away, shrugging and trying not to blush. "Nothin's wrong. I just like looking at you."

To my surprise, a slow smile crossed his face. "To be honest, I like watchin' you too. But come on." He squeezed my hand briefly, then turned the key in the ignition and pulled back to his own seat. "We have work to do."

"Yeah." I shifted the pickup into Drive and pulled out of the yard. Tossing my blond hair back from my eyes, I also tossed the thoughts I'd been having earlier out of my head, and grinned over at my best friend. "Hey, Daisy packed us a lunch, so we can go swimming or something after we're done," I changed the subject to a more easy, normal one.

"Sounds great." Luke rubbed the back of his neck with the shirt he'd left in the cab, using it like a towel to wipe the sweat away. "I don't think I've ever seen it this hot in May. You'd think it was July!"

I kept my eyes on the road, refusing to really look at him for fear I'd forget I was driving. "Yeah, I know," I agreed. "That's why I suggested swimming."

He flashed me a wry half-smile. I knew cause I caught the movement of his head out of the corner of my eye, and I heard the tone of his voice. I knew him well enough that I could tell what his expressions were even if I were blind. "Think we could just stay in the water all day?"

I couldn't help but grin at that. "I wish. But the way we play around, we'd probably end up drowning each other if we didn't call a break from time to time. We have all afternoon free, though."

"Mm," was his slight sound of approval. He slid down in his seat, closing his eyes. "You know what?"

"What?" I answered softly, finally glancing at my cousin.

"We've been so busy lately... This feels real good. Just going out and being lazy for a change... with you."

I couldn't help the smile that spread slowly across my entire face. "I'm happy to be with you too, Lukas," I replied quietly, keeping my eyes facing front.

A hand came over to rest on my shoulder, then Luke combed my bangs back from my eyes with one hand, not saying a word or moving from his comfortably-slouched position. Our eyes didn't even meet. But somehow so much was told in the gentleness of his fingers playing in my hair and brushing against my face, and I turned my head to lean my cheek into his palm briefly before pulling away to signal our turn off the road. We had work to do, and I couldn't afford to let my mind wander the directions it was. Not yet.

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Several hours later, we had two boards replaced in one fence, barbed wire restrung on another, a pregnant mare checked over, and the hay unloaded just outside the edge of the west pasture. The last thing was to throw a tarp over the pile, weighing it down with rocks against any wind. I patted one of the curious geldings that had come over to see what was going on on the shoulder, then followed Luke back to the pickup, hopping into the passenger side this time. The rest of the afternoon, finally, was our own.

Without even asking me, he drove back down the path and onto the road, and westward until we reached another tiny path leading into the woods. Carefully, he handled the pickup through the trees until we reached a small clearing. This was where we always parked whatever car we were driving when we came to this secret spot of ours. I grabbed the lunch basket, and Luke gathered an old blanket from under the seat to use as a picnic cloth, and probably a towel later on. I couldn't help but imagine other uses for it too... but then I shook that thought away, and followed Luke as we struck out deeper into the woods.

We didn't walk very long, but several twists and turns were in order before the view of a little, sunwarmed pond greeted our eyes. The water gleamed welcomingly, promising relief from the heat. Yelling playfully, Luke and I stripped down and ran for the water, making one big splash as we hit it at the same time. Laughing in childish abandon, I shoved my wet hair back away from my forehead and flipped over onto my back to splash at my cousin. With a yelp of protest, he shook the water out of his eyes and treaded water, giving me a silent, playfully-dangerous ice blue stare. I made a big point out of shivering in mock fear, and managed to crack a smile on his serious visage.

The next second, he leapt up and forward, splashing down near me. Shrieking in pretend terror, I hurried to get underwater and away before he could grab me, but he caught my ankle in his grasp and yanked me backwards, landing almost on top of me and holding me under. I fought laughter back, holding my breath, and struggled to escape. But to no avail. Finally I had to reach up and slap his arm to let him know that I needed air. He let go instantly, and I shot for the surface, breathing out and then in deeply, my lungs grateful for the oxygen. It was wonderful to be able to do that, I thought to myself. After being so badly hurt, I wasn't even taking breathing completely for granted any more. I was aware of Luke watching me somewhat worriedly, and I shook my fist in his direction to let him know I was fine. "That's not fair!" I managed, shoving my hair back again so I could see. "You're too heavy for me to throw off!"

Luke just grinned, flipping over casually in the water and diving under again with barely a ripple. I tensed, looking all around with wide eyes. There was not a sign of him... but somehow I knew he was nearby. My skin crawled in anticipation of being attacked from an unexpected quarter, and I turned slowly in place, straining my eyes to see under the surface of the pond.

"Luke, cut it out! This ain't funny." No response, of course. He didn't come up, either. "Luke?"

I couldn't help my eyes getting wider, and I started swimming hurriedly for shore. I was almost shocked when I made it to solid ground without being pounced upon, and scrambled onto dry land to collapse tiredly on my side, turning to look back at the still surface of the water.

"Luke?!" I called. My emotions were starting to turn to worry. He'd been down too long. What if he got caught somehow down there? I had to do something. "Luke!!" I began to push myself up to go search for him, but then a dark head popped up out of the water, so close that I jumped backwards, landing hard on my rear. Luke just laid there on his stomach, elbows propped in the underwater sand, and grinned at me.

"Scare you?"

"Yes!" I snapped, fear turning to anger. Sometimes the moods went too far. "I thought you were drowning or something!"

The playfulness in his light blue eyes instantly sobered into regret, and he got up out of the water to sit beside me in the grass. He reached out a hand to me, and I rolled out of his reach, still mad that he scared me. "Aw, c'mon, Bo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to think that! Just wanted to give you a bit of a thrill. I'm sorry." When I didn't answer, he touched my back. "Honest, little cuz, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me."

Finally I flipped back over onto my back, looking up at him briefly before sitting up and leaning into his chest, sighing. I never could stay mad at him for long. "You scared me," I complained.

"I didn't mean to scare you that way. I was just playing." He pulled me close into a hug, resting his cheek against the top of my head, and I relaxed despite myself. "Forgive me?" he murmured, and I heard the sound come from deep in his chest along with his strong heartbeat. With a smile, I had to nod.

"I ain't mad anymore. You just scared me." Sighing, I finally pulled back to look into his eyes, and smiled, reaching up to brush one dark curl back from his temple. "You did give me that thrill too, though. That's why I ran for the shore."

"Good." His mischievous-little-boy smile was infectious; I had to giggle, and he grinned.

I just looked at my cousin for a few moments, feeling more love than I had ever felt for any other person in the whole world. Even Uncle Jesse and Daisy. He was the one person I'd given my heart to in every way... and he knew it. As a matter of fact, it was him that suddenly leaned forward and caught me unawares, lost in my thoughts, with a kiss. I closed my eyes and responded, lightly, with more emotion than passion. I pulled back and caught his gaze again, smiling. "I love you."

His eyes softened, and he looked at me with such gentleness that I almost felt like crawling into his lap. Only the knowledge that I was now twenty-six years old and the fact that I was taller than he was kept me from trying it. "I know... I love you too." He just looked at me for a few beats, then finally sighed and quirked a half-amused, half-longing smile, reaching out to tousle my hair even though it didn't work too well with it being all wet like it was. "Come on, Bo. Let's go get our lunch before I forget we're cousins."

With a sigh, I climbed to my feet and brushed myself off, following him back to the picnic site and dropping onto the blanket without a thought to modesty. We'd been sharing a room and skinnydipping together all of our lives; we weren't going to suddenly get any more embarrassed about each other just because our feelings had deepened. I accepted the sandwich and Coke he held out to me without meeting his eyes, and silently unwrapped the food to take a bite. Luke's hand rested over mine, though, before I got the sandwich halfway to my mouth.

"Bo, what's wrong? You ain't said a thing for two minutes."

I shrugged, chuckling, embarrassed. I guessed for me, that was unusual. "Luke... Oh, never mind. Let's eat."

"No, tell me. What's wrong?" When I didn't answer, he smiled. I could hear it in his voice even without looking up. "Please."

"I... Oh, heck." I sighed abruptly, finally raising my eyes from my lunch. "It's just that, honestly, sometimes I wish we weren't cousins. Not all the time... but in certain ways..."

"Wha..? Oh." Luke sat back, looking thoughtful. I studied his face for any sign of anger, but I only found thoughtfulness, and something that looked like understanding. "You know what, Bo?"

"What?" I had to ask.

He smiled at me ruefully, somewhat to my surprise. "Sometimes I wish the same thing."

"You do? I didn't know that; you're always the one to say no..." My heart leapt in my chest. I set my sandwich and unopened drink aside, and touched his cheek. "If you feel the same way..."

He took my hand away gently from his face, and wrapped it in both of his. "I feel it, I do feel it, I admit that. But I'm still saying no. Because we are blood cousins, no matter how much we care about each other. The fact that we're both guys is even harder, I think. I mean, I'd feel guilty, but not near as much so if Daisy and I had fallen in love. I... I'm not one to normally feel that way about other men, Bo. And you know how I almost got hurt in the Marines. The way I feel toward you sometimes makes things very difficult for me."

I scooted closer to rest my head against his shoulder, my free hand coming down to rest over our clasped ones. "I don't want to make life hard on you. I just sometimes wish..."

"I know." He kissed me briefly on the temple, and I glanced up to see his smile. "I never said it was gonna be easy when I promised to love you. We both knew it wouldn't be easy."

I nodded, slowly. Yes, I had known. But back then, I had just been learning my emotions for my cousin. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of becoming physically closer. Now that I had, it was even harder. "I still can't help wishing. Wanting."

Luke put an arm around me, holding me close. "I know. Shh, I know."

"I have dreams about it, sometimes."

"About..?" He pulled back to look at me, frowning in surprise. "Why?"

I froze, then turned around to face away, my back stiffened in a hurt I refused to show. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me, he never would. He just didn't have much tact sometimes. "Oh, forget it. Just forget it."

His hand rested gently against my back, although his voice was startled, with just a hint of something else in it... as though the thought affected him just as much as it did me. "No. I don't want to forget it. Are you saying that you have dreams about... about being with me?"

More embarrassed then I could ever remember being, I nodded, still not looking at him. "I can't control it, Luke. I think that if I could, I wouldn't have those dreams. It makes things very hard sometimes. But... I just... can't stop. I wake up and I can still feel you next to me, holding me, though in real life you're asleep across the room. I wake up and I want it, want you, so bad... It's almost scary, Lukas." I stared at the ground, not daring to glance his way for fear of the look that I knew would be in his eyes. "I... I'm sorry," I whispered. "It don't mean I'm gonna try anything..."

I felt even more than heard him move up close behind me, then his arms slid gently around my waist, pulling me back to lean against his relaxed strength. With a slight sigh, he rested his cheek on the top of my head, and I couldn't help but snuggle backwards into the embrace, wanting to be as close to him as possible, hardly believing that he hadn't up and run.

"You ain't mad at me?" I finally ventured.

"No. Of course not. Just... surprised, that's all." He sighed again. "I guess I don't know what to say. But I still love you."

"Oh, Lukas..." Smiling, I pushed away and turned to face him, capturing his eyes with my own and trying to convey my thankfulness for his reaction of calm rather than anger. "I love you too, Luke. That's why I do my best to behave."

My older cousin cracked a smile, then reached out to ruffle his fingers through my drying hair fondly. I smiled back, enjoying the gesture that once annoyed me so much. "You do pretty well. Especially since... I didn't know it was that hard, Bo."

I nod, shyly. "Kinda... yeah."

"To be honest," he went on, surprising me, "even if I was upset, I don't think I could ever stay mad at you for anything for long, so don't ever worry about that. You mean way too much to me. You always have, even back when we were children."

I had to smile, reaching out to touch his cheek. "Did you know that you are the sweetest man in the whole wide world, Lukas Duke?"

Luke's chuckle was soft and deep, his crystal eyes twinkling. But then he seemed to sober. "That doesn't mean I can let us... get that close, though, Bo. It wouldn't be right. And even if I was completely comfortable with it, Jesse and Daisy wouldn't understand."

"I know," I whispered, looking away. We were raised in the same society, in the same rules and lifestyle. We understood the same things. It wouldn't be accepted by anyone if we got closer than we were already. That kind of relationship wasn't normal, wasn't tolerated very well in a small-town, rural society like Hazzard. We were both playing with fire, really, when we held each other and kissed and touched like we did, but neither one of us was willing to quit doing that. And we didn't want to leave the hills for some city; this was our home! So, we were pretty much stuck where and how we were. Either that or hold a secret for the rest of our lives. "I promise I won't ever try anything. I can be content with what we have, really. As long as we never go too far and make me not want to stop, anyway," I half-smiled at him.

"Or me." He smiled back ruefully, tracing my features with one finger, and I reached out to cup the side of his face in my hand. Our eyes met, and with my hands on his shoulders, I pulled him down with me as I stretched out on the picnic blanket. Sighing, he laid down next to me, but not too close. "Bo-"

"I know," I whispered, laying a finger against his lips to shush him. "I'm not going to. I promised I wouldn't, remember? I just wanna be here with you." I paused, then asked, "Hold me?"

With barely a moment's hesitation, he opened his arms, and I cuddled close, basking in the feel of his strength next to me, gentle, protective. Closing my eyes, I took a deep, relaxing breath, feeling content just to be there. The sun that seemed too hot earlier when we were working was just right now that we were just laying here drying off from our swim. I didn't think anything could ever feel better than this, being here, as close as we could be.

I knew he was right, though. At least, I could see where his reasoning came from, and most of the time, it was okay. I did want more... yet, somehow, what was in our hearts meant more than anything else ever could. That would just be icing on an already wonderful cake.

Deciding not to think about it any more for now, I smiled and sighed, wriggling even closer and enjoying the feel of being held, being loved. Luke understood how I felt without me saying a single word, and brushed his fingers through my hair again, working on a tangle with gentle singlemindedness. I sighed again, and raised my head to kiss him lightly on the cheek. He smiled back, his eyes full of something powerful but sweet that I'd never seen in him, not even with Helen, until the day I woke up in the hospital and saw him looking at me, and knew for a fact that he loved me as deeply as I loved him.

"I love you," I whispered, catching that normally-icy but now so warm gaze with my own darker blue. "And I always will."

"And I love you, Bo Duke," he whispered back. We didn't move for a moment, as still as if we were frozen in time, but then he tilted his head down and touched his lips very lightly to mine. I closed my eyes and teased the kiss a little deeper, but not too much, liking the gentle feel of this.

Finally we pulled apart, and I rolled onto my back, my eyes still half-closed. I was feeling calm, lazy, as if I wanted nothing more in the world than to just lay there. I chuckled to myself suddenly as I remembered what I'd jokingly said to Daisy that morning -- What I'd really rather be doing is laying out in the sun somewhere just enjoying the day. And here I was.

Next to me, Luke shifted and pushed himself up to lean on one forearm, his tone curious. "What? What's so funny?"

I yawned, stretching just a little. "Earlier, me and Daisy was joking around. She accused me of being lazy, cause I said that I'd rather lay out in the sun than work. Then she laughed and gave me the picnic and said to go have fun. I was just kidding, but..." I gestured with one hand at the general world, including us. "Here we are."

"Don't think this is probably what she had in mind," Luke half-grinned, resting his hand on my stomach and rubbing up lightly over my ribs, absently tracing the thin scars where the doctors had been able to save my life thanks to him. He did that a lot… thoughtfully, as though he could hardly believe I'd made it sometimes. He was still so gentle when touching me there, though I was long over the pain. But it made me feel treasured… which made me the happiest guy in Hazzard. I smiled up at him and reached to run my fingers back through his hair, then slid them lightly down his jaw. He closed his eyes at the touch, making a soft sound almost like a purr deep in his throat and turning his head to press a kiss into my palm.

"Mmm…" My hand dropped gently to his shoulder. "But I love it."

"So do I." He opened his eyes and just looked at me for several seconds, what felt like a long time, then bent down to kiss me again, light but lingering long enough for me to begin to long for more. But when I moved into him, he pulled away. I made a complaining noise, but he just ruffled my hair and climbed to his feet. "C'mon, I don't know about you, but my stomach's still telling me I haven't eaten yet."

"Yeah, mine too," I admitted, sitting up and rubbing my face with one hand.

"Here's yours," he handed me the sandwich and Coke I'd set aside a little bit ago, and I accepted them thankfully. "We'll eat, then we can get back in the water and we'll see how good you are at sneaking around underneath."

I had to laugh at his open, playful grin, loving seeing him so relaxed, and loving him. "Yeah, we'll see," I taunted. "I'm a good swimmer too, ya know."

"Well, we'll just see about that."

"Oh, we will?"

"Yep." That grin was really getting to me, and finally I just set my food aside again and leaped for my cousin to tickle him. Shrieking with laughter, we rolled around on the ground like two little boys, fighting to both attack and defend at the same time. We would get to our lunch, but he needed to be taught a lesson first! Finally we fell down, still laughing but out of breath, and he shoved at my shoulder in mock-annoyance. I just grinned at him, feeling more happy than I had in quite a while.

"I love you, Lukas Duke," I managed past my panting, still grinning like an idiot. Luke just grinned back.

"Same here, Beauregard Duke." His eyes were twinkling mischief; he knew good and well I hated my full name! I shrieked and jumped up, pouncing for him again. That deserved another good tickle.

Yup. Life was good, no worries. If only it could have stayed that way...

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It took until the end of summer, nearly our one-year 'anniversary', if you want to call it that, for things to go wrong. They were perfect up until that point. Bo and I had the world at our fingertips, to put it poetically. Laughter and good times rang across the Duke farm, our happiness with each other and life in general contagious to Daisy, Uncle Jesse, and even the animals, it seemed. But, when things decided to go downhill again, they went there fast.

It started in town, on a day just as bright and hot and sunny as any other. I'd gone in to see Cooter at the garage, to get help with a tractor part. We stood around and chatted for a litle while, watching the world go by from the open garage doors. Until a car pulled up to the gas pumps.

"Hey," Cooter greeted this new customer as he strolled out to meet him. I stayed behind, feet up on my friend's desk and nursing a beer, waiting for him to come back. But a few seconds later, the reply to the mechanic's innocent hello was answered, and my feet dropped to the floor, a shiver of something very cold suddenly running down my spine.

I knew that voice. I knew that voice! I remembered it all too well close to my ear, rough and low and grinning dangerously. Frighteningly. The last time I'd heard it, it had been angry curses thrown at me from the deck of a small boat as it left our ship. It had been my doing that had put that man away... but I had never imagined I would ever hear that voice, or see its owner, again.

Swallowing hard, I put down my drink and went over to the doors, looking out. The stranger had his back turned to me as he supervised Cooter's tire check, but he looked familiar. Too familiar. Then he turned, and saw me. He just passed me over at first, but then froze, and his eyes came back to where I was standing, as if poised to flee, half inside the garage.

A slow grin spread across his face, and he put his hands on his hips. "Well now. Lukas K. Duke. How nice to see you again."

"No pleasure of mine," I growled, determined not to let the big man know how much seeing him frightened me, how it made me want to run and never look back.

"Well. That's not a nice way to greet an old friend." He was still smiling. I narrowed my eyes and spat toward his feet, still not moving, but he just laughed.

Cooter came up, flipping his tire gauge over in his hand, and resettled his ball cap with the other hand. "Okay, you're ready to roll, friend. That'll just be..." He noticed us glaring at each other, and trailed off. "Uh..." He gestured between us with the gauge. "You two boys know each other?"

The other man smiled, rocking back and forth on his heels. "You could say that. Quite well."

"Shut up," I hissed, beyond fright now. Now I was furious. I came out toward him, tense, waiting for him to make a move, any move, so I could deck him. "Just shut up. What are you doing here?"

He nodded toward his car, the smile leaving his face to be replaced with something colder, and a lot deadlier. I knew my expression was very similar. Cooter looked at him, frowned worriedly, then looked at me, and stepped back slowly. My friend knew better than to get in the way right now. "Just passing through. Nothing to do with you; I didn't even know you lived here. I'm not even sure where here is."

"Fine. Keep it that way," I spat. We stared glaciers at each other for several long seconds, before he finally chuckled, low and without mirth, and turned to pay Cooter for the air and fuel. Without looking back, he got into his car and drove off. I stood stiffly, watching the tail end of the brown sedan disappear around a corner.

My friend came up to me carefully, slowly, making sure he stayed in my line of sight. I was suddenly grateful for his presence; he knew how to handle me when I went into killer mode better than anyone. Cooter was the one who often dealt with me when I was like this. Uncle Jesse had a couple of times, but it was usually Cooter. No one returned from 'Nam without some problems, though I did my best to hide that side of myself from Daisy and Bo. I was better about it now than when I first came back, though. "Luke?" he asked softly, reaching to put a firm hand on my clenched fist. "You know that guy?"

Sighing, I turned to look at him, letting the tension out all at once. I leaned back against the wall of the garage, closing my eyes and rubbing at the back of my neck. "Yes and no. Not very well. His name is Rick Henson; we were enemies in the Marines. I sent him to jail soon after I joined his brigade."

"Ah... I see." The mechanic raised his eyebrows at me. "You gonna be okay?"

I turned to look at him, smiling slightly. "Yeah. I will now. Thanks." I sighed again, gazing back down the street. "Never thought I'd see him again," I mused.

"From what it looked like, he weren't too thrilled to see you either," my friend pointed out, turning to go back inside. "You comin'?"

I glanced over at him, then shook my head. "Thanks but no thanks. I'm expected back home anyway, I'd better get going."

"Alright." Cooter looked at me steadily for a minute. "Don't let him get to ya, Luke. Just don't."

Smiling again, I shook my head. "I won't. I'm okay." I headed for the General Lee. "See ya around," I waved to my friend before gunning the engine and burning rubber out of there.

He knew a lot about my history, but how could I tell him that just seeing that man made me tremble inside, scared me more than any gun pointed in my face ever could? It sounded crazy, irrational. Maybe it was. Only someone who had gone through what I had would really understand what it was that could make a grown man, a fully trained Marine who survived the jungles of Vietnam, feel like crawling under a rock to hide. But there was no one like that around. No one that would understand. So I did the next best thing. I went somewhere safe.

I went home.

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I was on my bed, lying on my back with one ankle braced up against the other knee comfortably and my attention happily buried in the middle of a racing magazine, when I heard the front door slam.

I looked up, surprised. It was practically a cardinal rule in our house never to slam the doors that hard. There must be something wrong. I set my magazine aside and stood up, going over to the open bedroom doorway to stick my head out cautiously. I didn't hear anyone yelling at anyone, so I went down the hall to peer into the living room. No one there, so I crossed the living room into the kitchen. Finally I found the only other person in the house, and relaxed, smiling, at my older cousin.

"Lukas," I greeted warmly, starting across the kitchen to where he was washing his hands at the sink. "Thought you'd gone to see Cooter."

I stopped in my tracks, startled and a little hurt, when he shot a glare at me. "Don't ask. Please just don't ask."

I hesitated, not sure what to say, and finally pulled a chair out to sit down at the table, looking across its surface at him. I finally pushed, gently, "I'm just concerned is all. You ain't normally one to come barging in that way; you're better at following the rules than me or Daisy. There has to be something wrong, love." He made a very slight face at the endearment, and I quirked a small smile in return, trying to get through whatever it was that was eating him and make him smile back.

Shutting off the water and grabbing a small towel to dry his hands, he just looked at me, then finally sighed and pulled out a chair of his own, on the opposite side of the table. He tossed the towel back onto the counter and linked his hands together on the tabletop, meeting my gaze apologetically. "I'm sorry. I don't want to worry you, Bo. It's just I'm havin' some tough times right now, emotionally. I'll be okay."

I reached out to lay my hand over his, squeezing gently. "C'mon, Luke, we've always told each other our problems. It helps them go away."

"Not this one." He sighed and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing away. I frowned, wondering what could be eating him so much as to make him act so distant from me. Me, of all people. "Bo, please don't try to get me to talk. I'm not ready to yet." His eyes, usually such a calm ice blue, but now tinged with a visible distress, met mine again, and I pulled my lower lip between my teeth in thought as I read the pleading there.

"Okay." I stood up from my chair, looking down at him. "When you are ready to talk, though... I'll be here. You know that." Without another word, I went past him, out the kitchen door into the Indian summer heat.

I tucked my hands partway into my pockets and wandered across the yard and down a path, kicking at the colorful leaves in my way and frowning to myself. I wondered what in the world could get Luke so upset. Because as cool and collected as he appeared on the outside, inwardly he was badly shaken by something. I knew him; the more vulnerable he felt, the colder his facade became to the outside world, trying to protect himself, I guessed. He didn't need to defend from me, though. Out of all the people in the world, I would be the least likely to want to hurt him, and I knew he knew that. Something must really be wrong.

I found Uncle Jesse in the west field, walking amongst the mature crops and checking the leaves for insects. Harvest time wouldn't be long in coming. He saw me coming about the time I got into hearing range, so I waited to call out to him until I was close enough not to have to yell. He straightened and smiled at me, chuckling in amused warmth.

"Decide to finally help, young man?" he asked, though I could hear no annoyance in his voice. It was Saturday; we didn't normally work on Saturday.

I smiled back, shaking my head. "Guess I could. But what I came out here for is to ask you something, Uncle Jesse."

He raised both eyebrows, taking his cap off to wipe his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Guess I could handle that one, Bo. What'd'ya need to ask?"

I hesitated. "It's about Luke. He's acting kind of... peculiar. I was wondering if you knew anything."

Uncle Jesse shook his head, settling his cap back on his head and putting his hands on his pockets. "He'd have told you long before he'd have told me. You know that boy better than I do, Bo. Better than anyone. Sometimes I think you two must be twins separated at birth, the way you seem to read each others' minds," he joked gently.

I chuckled at that one, unable to help it despite my worries. "Aw, Uncle Jesse, you know that couldn't be. There's over four years between us."

"I know."

He put his hand on my arm affectionally, and I smiled at him. In many ways, this man was my father more than my uncle, and I honestly loved him very much. But then I sobered again. "But he ain't talkin' to me, and he always talks to me, even if he don't to anybody else."

My uncle frowned, looking thoughtful. "What's he actin' like?"

I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to betray Luke's trust or anything... but I was worried about him. Finally I answered. "Jumpy. Angry. Almost hurt. And though he's trying to hide it... terrified." My lips tightened together as I thought about that one. What could have frightened Luke so much, as strong as he'd always been? And how? I wished again, mightily, that he'd just stop bottling his troubles up inside.

"Hmm." Uncle Jesse sighed, looking worried too now. "You know he won't open up about it unless he decides he wants to."

"I know." I looked down and nudged a mound of dirt with the toe of my boot absently, then sighed and nodded. "You're right. I've known that from the start. I'm just worried about him, is all."

"You care... and there ain't nothin' wrong with that." My uncle put his hand on my shoulder, then pulled me into a brief hug, which I returned, smiling as I laid my cheek on his shoulder. His clothes smelled of dirt, sun, wind, the things that had raised me, the things I knew and loved. The warm familiarity made it hard not to relax.

"Thanks," I nodded, stepping back. "Guess I'll just go for a walk. You know... think."

Uncle Jesse nodded back, his voice soft. "I understand, Bo. Just go; I'll see if I can talk to Luke later, and I won't tell him you talked to me."

"Thanks," I repeated, meaning it doubly this time, and then I turned and walked down the row to the path. I slipped into the woods almost silently, the woodsman's skills I'd learned as a child coming naturally, without my having to think about them. I startled a young buck deer and chuckled as I lifted my hands to eye level, pretending to fire an arrow at his disappearing tail end. Then I made my way across a stream, using the rocks there as stepping stones, and up a slight hill. The Duke acreage was rather expansive, to be honest; only part of it was developed for the farm. When you saw all this land, so wild and beautiful, you could understand why we fought so hard to hold onto it. But, finally I found myself nearing a pond that I knew well, one of mine and Luke's favorite spots. My steps slowed as I saw the water shimmering through the brush ahead. Did I really want to be somewhere that brought so many thoughts of the person I was worried about? But then I shook that feeling off, telling myself I was being silly, and changed direction toward a stream that entered the pond, the last clean, fresh water to be found for a mile or so.

I crouched down to scoop water out of the clear stream with my hands, drinking as my eyes scanned the area, all my senses automatically alert. There were a few ducks in the greenish pond, but other than that, I seemed to be the only non-vegetable creature around. That suited me just fine at the moment, though I wouldn't have minded seeing animals. I just wasn't in the mood for people. I followed the stream to where it joined the pond, walking along the water's edge until I found a large, mostly flat rock to climb up on. Feeling the warmth of the stone beneath me, I stripped off my shirt and lay back, closing my eyes and sighing contentedly, letting my mind wander. I liked being out here, like this, relaxed in the wonder of a practically untouched part of the earth. I'd been raised this way, it was part of me.

I'm not sure how long it was until I heard the crack of a twig, signaling that I was no longer alone.

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I sat in the kitchen for a long time, thinking things over, calming myself down, seeing visions of the past... my stint in the military when I'd felt so alone and honestly frightened, the evening Bo had openly admitted his feelings for me, the day I'd realized I returned those feelings, despite my bad experience before... and finally the look of surprise and hurt in my cousin's eyes as I told him to let me be not a half hour earlier. I berated myself for pushing him away now, when he only wanted to help, and decided to give him some time to cool off in case he was mad at all. I didn't think he was, but it never hurt to be sure. Finally I stood up and went outside. Uncle Jesse was feeding the chickens, and he wanted to talk, but I refused. We had a small battle of Duke wills, but finally he answered my question, though all he would say was that Bo had gone on a walk. So, I set out to find him.

After a good hour or so of following all our trail routes, I finally came to our favorite swimming and fishing hole. And finally I found my younger cousin. He was sprawled out on his back on a stone that we had used to play on when we were little, looking very comfortable. It brought back memories, of long-ago games of king-of-the-mountain, and Robin Hood, and King Arthur and his brave knights who went out to slay dragons. But the laughter of those times wasn't really what I was feeling at the moment; my feelings toward him had changed far too much during the past year for me to just see him as the little boy that followed me everywhere with wide eyes and open heart. He was still amazingly similar in personality, but... it had changed. We had changed.

I just stood there for a bit, leaning my shoulder against a tree, letting myself take a rare moment to really appreciate the young man who had so easily, almost too easily, managed to capture my heart. Relaxed, casual like that, he looked almost a part of the nature that surrounded him, as he well should have seeing as we were both raised in it from the time we were very little. I watched him as he caught a leaf in midair on its way to the ground, flicking it upwards with one finger then catching it again as it came back down, playing like a child with not a care in the world. I smiled to myself, warmth filling my heart as I admitted silently to myself how much I really did love him.

Finally I straightened and moved forward, though, deliberately stepping on a stick and breaking it to announce my presence. Bo glanced over in my direction, then sat up, braced on one hand, his expression neither inviting nor unfriendly. More cautious than anything. I mentally kicked myself again for hurting him, or making him worry, or both, and walked over to stand beside the rock. He just sat there for a second, then smiled slightly and moved over in silent invitation. Relieved that he wasn't mad at me for anything, I climbed up to sit beside him, watching as he hugged his knees to his chest and propped his chin on them, looking across the pond thoughtfully.

"What's on your mind?" I finally spoke up.

He turned his head to look at me, laying his cheek where his chin had been, smiling slightly. I wondered idly if he any idea how cute he looked when he did that, with his windtossed hair falling partly over his eyes. Because he did. I always had been a sucker for blondes... even though my younger cousin wasn't exactly built like any of the girls I'd ever gone out with. Secretly, though, I thought that he was every bit as good-looking in a different sort of way, an opinion that had been slowly forming ever since I realized that I was in love with him. I knew he longed for more than we had, and I had to be the one that held us back. But I couldn't help some hidden daydreams of my own. "You. I was thinking about you."

"Me?" I shifted to a more comfortable sitting position. "What about me?"

"Wondering why you won't talk to me. Wondering who or what made you feel this way. Wishing I could do something about it, to help." He shrugged. "You know, just that kinda stuff."

I sighed, deeply. Just 'that kinda stuff'. The kind of stuff that made him confused, worried. The kind of stuff that made him go into the woods to avoid me. "I'm sorry, Bo," I finally said. "I guess I'll talk now. If you'll ask the questions."

He lifted his head, studying my face with his piercing sapphire gaze. "First, I want you to do something for me."

"What's that?"

He smiled, wider this time, and brought his knees down, opening his arms. "Give me a hug?"

"Aw..." Chuckling, I put my hands on his shoulders, pulling him close to wrap him in my arms. He returned the embrace gently at first, then gave a sudden squeeze, a bear hug that felt like it might endanger at least a couple of my ribs. I fought my way out of that grip with no small amount of struggling, shoving at his chest and knocking him backwards as I rubbed at my ribcage, wincing exaggeratedly. Bo laughed out loud, just lying where he'd fallen, head back, eyes shining with childlike fun. I found myself laughing as well; he was the only person I felt comfortable being this open around, the only one I had ever been able to share my unguarded feelings with. We'd always been so very close... in some ways, what we had now seemed almost a natural extension of that deep friendship.

Natural in an emotional sense, anyway. Sometimes it was very frustrating, how two people's hearts could want something, but all the rules of physical nature and men forbid it. Ah, well. We were as close as possible; that's what counted.

"Now, are you gonna ask me anything?" I started, not really thrilled with talking about my problems but not wanting to hide my feelings from him if he needed to know.

He bit his lower lip to try to stop his fit of giggles, and looked up at me, flat on his back, tousled hair gleaming in the sun like fine spun gold, those midnight blue eyes so completely emotionally open that I felt I could fall right inside and keep on going forever. The foremost thing in that steady gaze was love, something so strong that it seemed to take over his entire being, and my own. I suddenly had an incredible urge to pull him to myself, to feel his lean strength and his heart beating hard against mine, to kiss him until the laws we'd been raised by didn't matter anymore, to own him like no one ever had or could. I broke eye contact before that urge became too strong, heart pounding, shocked at myself. I had never looked at him quite that way before... had never felt a desire that powerful even in my imagination. No... I ordered myself. Don't even think about it, buddy.

To hide my sudden nervousness, I smiled back, reaching down to ruffle his hair with one hand. "Come on, cousin," I forcibly reminded myself of our relation as I said the word, "either say something or forever hold your peace."

He laughed a little, then sat up, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. "Okay. I'll say something. Luke, what happened to make you so mad... so... scared? And don't say it's nothing. I know better."

I chuckled. "I wasn't gonna say that, Bo. I told you I'd answer your questions, right?" I paused, thoughtfully, then jumped down from the rock to the ground, unable to sit still. My agitation of earlier was coming back, and I felt I just had to move. "You wanna go for a walk?"

Bo just looked at me for a moment, then nodded. "Okay." He jumped down after me, grabbing his shirt from where he'd left it on the edge of the stone and shoving his arms in, leaving the hem untucked and the snaps undone. "Let's go."

We disappeared into the trees with barely a sign that we'd even been there, our footsteps almost silent in the thick leaf cover. We just walked, without saying a word, for several minutes, while I got my mind and body back in line. Somewhere along the way, either his hand found mine, or mine found his. All I know is that I came up out of my thoughts to feel his fingers intertwined with mine, in a way that would make anybody that saw us say some pretty unkind things. But there was little chance of being met out here, and the contact somehow gave me an anchor to hold onto against the storm I was feeling inside, so I didn't try to move away. Finally I cleared my throat, and he turned to look at me.

"You ready to talk yet, Lukas?" he asked, his voice almost surprisingly soft. I didn't quite meet his gaze, a bit nervous. Had he seen, felt, the same things I had when our eyes had met? I hoped not. He had practically no aversion to the idea as it was. And I myself was feeling increasingly less repelled from the thought of being intimate with my younger cousin the more I thought about it. Which had obviously been a bit too much, of late. If it was becoming more than fantasies, more than dreams... I wasn't sure what I would do. Those fantasies scared me as much as they drew me.

I quickly turned my mind to other things, setting it on the reason for even coming out to the woods to find him. "Yeah," I sighed, taking my hand out of his finally to rub at my eyes, turning to face him in the middle of a clearing. "What happened... that's a long story. Let's just say I had a ghost from my past show up."

Bo frowned, putting his hands on his hips. "Who, Luke? You didn't tell me about any old buddies being in town."

I shook my head. Somehow, this was harder to speak of than it should be. "Not a buddy, Bo. Someone I once hated..." I heard bitterness come out in my voice, and wished I'd had enough self-control to keep it in. "It's been too long to hate anymore. But he still brings back some very unpleasant memories."

The frown deepened into an almost protective scowl. I fought back the urge to chuckle. If Bo hadn't been so serious, his pose might have seemed amusing, with his head high and sapphire eyes flashing like that. As it was, he only looked beautiful in my eyes. Free, defiant, proud... like a Duke should be. Like I was, to a quieter extent. I would never be able to spend my life with anyone who didn't understand that sort of self-confidence.

I glanced away at that thought, wondering what was happening to me. Now why was I thinking about spending my life with anyone, much less Bo? I'd openly admired his slender yet strong build, boyish looks, and easygoing style for years, had told him more than once, teasingly yet honestly, that I thought he was the handsomest guy in Hazzard when he was fussing over getting ready for a date. And he had always been my closest friend. I had never thought of him as attractive to myself in that way before, though, only to the ladies he loved to chase around. But now... I sighed, shaking my head at myself. Big help I was gonna be in holding his passions back when I was fighting my own.

Bo noticed. "What's wrong, Lukas?" He always called me that when he was worried about me, or when he was being particularly affectionate. He had ever since we were both very young. I didn't mind, actually kinda liked it, although I wasn't accustomed to hearing my full name from anyone besides him. "What'd I do?"

I snapped my head back around to catch his gaze fervently, unable to keep from smiling. "Oh, Bo, you didn't do anything. None of what I'm feeling is your fault. I swear that." Almost without thinking, I reached out and caught his hand, rubbing my thumb over his palm lightly. "Bo... I love you. I trust you; you'd never hurt me." I needed to hear myself say that, as memories began once more to creep in from the past, making me shiver.

He looked puzzled, but worried at the same time. He closed his hand around mine and tugged gently, leading me over to sit under a big oak tree. I leaned back against it, knees drawn up and arms crossed over them, pushing back the urge to hug myself. Then I opened my mouth and began to speak, not even knowing quite where the words were coming from.

"Remember that very first night, up at still site four? The one when you first told me that you loved me... when you kissed me. When... I kissed you back." My heart warmed, remembering that night. I could see the same memories, the same warmth in his eyes when I glanced over quickly. Then I looked outward, unfocused on anything but the trees and sky. "I told you something too, that night. I told you why I was so afraid."

I risked another glance to see dark blue eyes begin to smoulder. Bo stiffened at the memory, his expression decidedly unfriendly. "Yeah, I remember," he told me softly, though the tone of his voice wasn't at all gentle. "I remember very well. You were attacked by another sergeant when you were in the Marines."

I nodded, swallowing hard at the memory, forcing my body to obey my will and not tremble like it wanted to. "Yeah. It was... a very scary experience. Gave me nightmares for months." I took a deep breath. "Well... I met him today. In town."

I should have expected his reaction. He leaped to his feet almost as if shot into the air. "What?!" he nearly snarled. I froze in surprise at the look on my gentle-hearted cousin's face. His eyes were flame, his jaw was set, and his entire body was trembling with fury. Sighing, I reached up and wrapped his clenched fist in my own hand, gently sliding my thumb between his palm and fingers, uncurling them. I tried to tug him down, but he pulled away, so I stood up and went after him.

"Bo, calm down before you do something you regret." I put my hands on his shoulders, turning him slowly around to face me. "Please, for me, sweetheart. Don't go confront him. He's served his time for what he did to me. He's no friendlier, but we ought to give him the chance to show that he might have reformed in some ways at least."

"Someone who could have so little heart as to try to hurt another man that way couldn't reform," he whispered, looking at the ground. Then, suddenly, he brought his head up. I winced at his tears, knowing they were for my sake, and at that moment I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. Instead I stepped back to let him have his space. I didn't get far; his hand darted out to grab my wrist, holding me there as his eyes searched mine. "What did you just call me?" he whispered.

I had to search my mind to find out what in heck he was talking about. Then I laughed slightly, embarrassed. "Sorry, cousin. It came out without me thinking about it. To be honest, I'm not even sure where it came from." I quirked a wry smile, sighing. "I think you're deeper in my heart than even I let myself think sometimes, Bo," I whispered.

He just stood there for a long moment, hair ruffled by the wind, eyes thoughtful, body and soul a perfect picture of energetic, lean-muscled health. He really was the handsomest guy around, I thought privately to myself. No... as silly as this word sounded, considering that he was very definitely male and not a girl... he was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. He shifted slightly under my gaze, looking shy. "I... I don't mind, Lukas. Actually, I kinda liked it. You can call me whatever you want... as long as it's nice."

"I could never call you anything that wasn't," I smiled back, wondering somewhere in the back of my mind just how we had gotten this close. Had he moved, or had I? I couldn't remember. All I knew, all I wanted to know, at that moment was that all I had to do to kiss him was to tilt my face up just a little. He obviously had the same thing on his mind, because the next thing I knew, we had met in the first kiss I could ever remember sharing with him, in nearly a year of being together, where neither of us was holding back a thing. For the first time, I actually felt my cousin's passion for life itself, felt it spark an answer within me that I knew somewhere in the back of my mind could easily go too far. I shivered, frightened inside at the force of the emotions and sensations suddenly rushing through me. My mind was in a daze; I couldn't figure out why this should be wrong, why I shouldn't let this happen. I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I was looking for something to remind me that love was good after all, after seeing Henson. But this was so wrong, I was the one who usually fought this, what was wrong with me? Yet, it felt so right... I was losing the battle.

I managed to pull myself away only when the fire trailing throughout my body began to coagulate into a very real need. I stepped backwards suddenly, breathing hard, running a shaky hand across my face and back through my hair. I was hardly able to believe what I had just done, what I had just felt... what I very honestly hadn't wanted to stop. Bo just stared at me for several seconds, his burning gaze striking me to the core, then slowly smiled. "Wow," he whispered.

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "Bo, we can't do this... you know we can't as well as I do."

"Why not? You want it too, Luke, you can't deny that."

Those eyes had never been more captivating, more dangerous to my sanity, than they were at this moment. I had to get control of this situation now, or we'd end up down in the leaves. "No," I somehow brought firm authority into my voice. "We can't. We're cousins. We're both men! Bo, listen to reason!"

He just stared at me for a few seconds, but then, finally, his gaze dropped, and I breathed an inward sigh of relief. He sighed, almost regretfully, and took a step toward me, coming closer but not enough to be threatening. "I know, I know... but do you know how hard it is to make myself understand that? I mean, I know it in my head... but it ain't easy to make the rest of me believe it. You know?"

I touched his cheek, smiling wryly. "I know..." Then I turned away, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets. "Let's not worry about that guy," I tried to return the conversation to where it had been before, tried to forget what had just happened between us. Somehow, though, it wasn't quite working. I felt like hitting myself for losing control like that. I'd known very well that the warmth we always held between us could easily turn to fire, yet I'd gone ahead and kissed him like that anyway. And now... "He said he was just passin' through," I quickly snapped my mind away from that direction. "Was just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. We both kinda took one look at each other and ran."

Bo chuckled, coming up behind me and sliding his arms around my waist, rubbing his hands up over my chest. It took a good bit of self-control on my part to not outwardly react to the innocent -- or not so innocent, perhaps, given what we had just barely avoided -- touch, but the embrace also felt good, safe, warm. I found myself sighing, releasing my emotional tension if not the physical. "Well, okay. But next time you leave Duke land, I'm goin' with you."

Finally regaining control over my rebellious body, I smiled back over my shoulder at him thankfully, squeezing his hand. To be very honest, I was a lot more shaken by that close encounter with an old enemy than I was letting on, and for once I wasn't at all inclined to complain about his protectiveness. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Chapter Four